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Capítulo XVIII
Muestra Sidimiris igual generosidad que su amante
—Muy desasosegado estaba yo por la dudosa suerte de Sidimiris y gimiendo en mi profundo calabozo cuando se me presentó un joven con una carta, que me entregó sin proferir una palabra; leíla a la escasa luz de una lámpara y decía así:
Sidimiris al generosísimo Belmur
No basta deciros que los medios de que os habéis servido para librarme de la crueldad de mi hermano me han llenado de admiración y de aprecio: rasgo de tanta generosidad merece la más grande recompensa y no vacilo en confesaros que mi corazón ha tomado parte en él; sí, Belmur, he recibido la muestra que me habéis dado de vuestra ternura, con el agradecimiento que deseabais en mí. No tardaré en daros a conocer cómo pienso de un modo más particular y significativo.
Sidimiris
»Prueba clara era esta carta de que no me aborrecía Sidimiris y de que meditaba alguna cosa favorable para mí; leíla y releíla mil veces entregado a los halagos de la esperanza. ¡Dichosísimo eres, Belmur! ¡Te aman! ¡Qué suaves son tus cadenas! Corrieron tres semanas sin que oyese yo hablar de mi divina princesa. Presentose, por fin, Zamira, acompañada de Tojares. Fuera de mí, con el gozo, corrí a su encuentro y les insté con ansia a que me refiriesen las órdenes que traían. «Más de una noticia os traigo», me dijo Zamira, «y ¡al cielo pluguiese que todas fueran gustosas! Libre estáis ya, pero a costa de la libertad de Sidimiris, que ha roto vuestras prisiones echándoselas a sí propia más terribles. ¡Os lo diré!... ¡Pues acaba de casarse con un hombre a quien aborrece! Condición ha sido que le impuso su hermano, sin la cual nunca hubierais visto la luz del día». A estas palabras caí en tierra sin sentido: Zamira, Tojares y unos flasquitos* de olor (de que tuvieron la precaución de proveerse) me volvieron a la vida. «Amigos crueles», les dije, «¿por qué no me habéis dejado morir? ¿Son esos los efectos de las esperanzas que me dio Sidimiris? ¿Es esta aquella prueba de gratitud con que me lisonjeó? Pero, ¿adónde mi desesperación me lleva? Acuso a Sidimiris de inhumana cuando por mí se ha hecho infeliz. ¡Ah, libertad, cuánto te abomino!». Zamira, que conoció hasta qué punto podía arrastrarme el despecho, sacó de la faldriquera una carta103, que se la había mandado no entregarme hasta que yo estuviese a alguna distancia del pueblo, pero que ella, atendido el estado en que me vía, creyó poderme facilitar sin contravenir a la exactitud de sus obligaciones. Abrí la carta, mientras Zamira me hablaba, y ved lo que contenía. p. 165
Sidimiris a Belmur
Si la prueba que os doy de mi agradecimiento no corresponde a vuestra esperanza, compadecedme, pero no acuséis a mi corazón. No había más medio para daros la libertad, que el de comprarla a precio de todas mis felicidades. No es cara, si me hacéis la justicia que merezco. Como dueña de mis inclinaciones os confieso que no hay en el mundo príncipe a quien yo no os hubiese preferido. Os debo esta confesión en pago de lo que por mí habéis hecho: considerad, Belmur, que no podía ser justa con vos sin ser cruel ni tampoco corresponder a vuestra pasión sin hacer más pesadas vuestras cadenas: si el sacrificio que acabo de verificar me conserva todavía algún derecho a vuestro afecto, os mando que no añadáis a mi infortunio el de ser causa de vuestra muerte. Vivid, Belmur, asegurado de que esta será la prueba más verdadera que podáis dar del amor puro y sincero que habéis profesado a la infeliz
Sidimiris
»«¡Ay, Sidimiris!», exclamé. «¿Han de ser crueles las bondades que usáis conmigo? ¡Me quitáis la esperanza de poseeros y queréis que viva!» Mantúveme algunos instantes en silencio y, después, dije:«Seréis obedecida: viviré desventurado, pero viviré para vos». Algo más asegurada Zamira, me exhortó mucho a la perseverancia y se despidió. Roguela que me proporcionase ver a Sidimiris siquiera una vez o, cuando no, que la entregase una carta mía; me rehusó este favor, pero suavizó la repulsa, prometiéndome pintar mi dolor y mi obediencia con los más vivos colores. Tojares quedó solo conmigo, me ayudó a vestir y me sacó del calabozo en que había pasado horas tan deliciosas y tristes. Encontré un caballo a la puerta, abracé a mi confidente, le pedí que aceptase una sortija de gran precio y partí con el corazón traspasado de pena. Galopé toda la noche sin destino cierto y sin advertir que agotaba a mi caballo las fuerzas; dejose, en fin, caer de rendido y entonces noté que me hallaba en un bosque espeso, situación agreste que se conformaba mucho al estado de mi ánimo. Apuntó la aurora y guio mis pasos; la casualidad me condujo a un subterráneo que tenía traza de haber servido de habitación a algunos amantes tan desgraciados como yo. Estaba cavado en la peña y su entrada casi toda cubierta de maleza; bajé algunos escalones toscamente formados y encontré unos bancos de céspedes104, y algo más allá una especie de sala adornada con hojas de árboles y alumbrada por un tragaluz hecho en el centro de la bóveda con bastante arte. Mi desesperada tristeza me sugirió el pensamiento de no salir de aquella morada tenebrosa. Dejé suelto a mi caballo para que se fuera donde quisiese; colgué mis armas de un árbol junto a la entrada de la gruta y voté mi vida a una soledad que me permitía pensar incesantemente en mis desdichas105. Diez meses corrieron sin que me ocurriese ni la menor idea de volver a la sociedad de los hombres…
Aquí descansó algunos instantes Belmur para tomar aliento y el barón los aprovechó para hacer la observación siguiente:
Chapter VI
In which it will be seen that the lady is as generous as her lover
“I passed some days in this confinement, melancholy enough. My ignorance of the destiny of Sydimiris gave me more pain than the sense of my own misfortunes; and one evening, when I was more than usually disquieted, one of my guard entered my prison, and, giving me a letter, retired without speaking a word. I opened this letter with precipitation, and by the light of a lamp which was allowed me, I read the following words:
Sydimiris, to the most generous Bellmour:
It is not enough to tell you that the method you took to free me from my brother’s
severity has filled me with the utmost esteem and admiration. So generous an action
merits a greater acknowledgment; and I will make no scruple to confess that my heart
is most sensibly touched by it. Yes, Bellmour, I have received this glorious
testimony of your affection with such a gratitude, as you yourself could have wished
to inspire me with; and it [91] shall not be long, before you will have a
convincing proof of the effect it has had upon the spirit of
Sydimiris
“This letter, madam,” pursued Sir George, “being wholly calculated to make me hope that I was not hated by the divine Sydimiris; and that she meditated something in my favour, I resigned myself up to the most delightful expectations.
“‘What!’ cried I, transported with the excess of my joy. ‘Does the most admirable Sydimiris condescend to assure me that I have touched her heart? And does she promise me that I shall receive some convincing proof of her acknowledgment? Ah! Too happy, and too fortunate Bellmour, to what a glorious destiny hast thou been reserved! And how oughtest thou to adore these fetters that have procured thee the esteem of the divine Sydimiris!’
“Such, madam, were the apprehensions which the billet I had received inspired me with. I continually flattered myself with the most pleasing hopes; and during three weeks longer, in which I heard no more from Sydimiris, my imagination was wholly filled with those sweet thoughts which her letter had made me entertain.
“At length, on the evening of a day which I had wholly spent in reading over Sydimiris’s letter, and interpreting the sense of it a thousand different ways, but all agreeable to my ardent wishes, I saw the sage Urinoe enter my [92] prison, accompanied by Toxares, whom I had not seen during my last confinement. Wholly transported at the sight of these two friends, and not doubting but they had brought me the most agreeable news, I ran towards them; and throwing myself at Urinoe’s feet, I begged her, in an ecstasy of joy, to acquaint me with Sydimiris’s commands.
“Urinoe, in some confusion at this action, entreated me to rise. ‘It is fit,’ cried I, in a transport I could not master, ‘that in this posture I should receive the knowledge of that felicity Sydimiris has had the goodness to promise me.’ Urinoe sighed at these words; and beholding me with a look of compassion and tenderness:
“‘Would to God,’ said she, ‘that all I have to say were as agreeable as the first news I have to tell you, which is that you are free and at liberty to leave the town this moment! Sydimiris,’ continued she, ‘has bought your freedom, at the expense of her own; and, to deliver you from her brother’s chains, she has put on others, haply more cruel than those you have worn. In fine, she has married a man whom she detested, to procure your liberty, her brother having granted it to her upon that condition alone.’p. 220
“Scarce had Urinoe finished these words, when I fell without sense or motion at her feet. Toxares and she, who had foreseen what might happen, having provided themselves with cordials* necessary to restore me, brought me to myself with infinite trouble.
[93] “‘Cruel!’ said I to them, with a tone and look which witnessed the excess of my despair. ‘Why have you hindered me from dying, at once to prevent the thousand deaths I shall suffer from my grief? Is this the confirmation of those glorious hopes Sydimiris had permitted me to entertain? Is this that proof of the acknowledgments I was to expect? And is it by throwing herself into the arms of my rival that she repays those obligations she thinks she owes me? Ah! Inhuman Sydimiris! was it to make my despair more poignant that thou flatteredst me with such a prospect of happiness? And was it necessary to the grandeur of thy nuptials that my life should be the sacrifice? But, how unjust am I,’ cried I, repenting in an instant of those injurious suspicions. ‘How unjust am I to accuse the divine Sydimiris of inhumanity? Was it not to give me freedom that she bestowed herself upon a man she hates? And has she not made herself miserable forever, to procure me a fancied happiness? Ah! If it be so, what a wretch am I! I, who have been the only cause of that misery to which she has doomed herself! Ah! Liberty!’ pursued I. ‘How I detest thee, since purchased by the misfortune of Sydimiris! And how far more sweet and glorious were those chains, which I wore for her sake!’
“My sighs and tears leaving me no longer the power of speech, I sunk down on my bed, oppressed with a mortal grief.
“Urinoe and Toxares drew near to comfort me, [94] and said all that sensible and discreet persons could think of to alleviate my despair.
“‘Though I have heard that Sydimiris is married,’ replied I, ‘without dying immediately, yet do not imagine that I will suffer this odious life to continue long. If sorrow do not quickly dispatch me, I will seek death by other means; for since Sydimiris is lost, I have no more business in the world.’
“The charitable Urinoe and Toxares endeavoured in vain to divert me from this sad resolution, when Urinoe, finding all their reasonings ineffectual, drew a letter out of her pocket, and presenting it to me: ‘I had orders,’ said she, ‘not to let this letter be delivered to you till you had left the town; but the despair to which I see you reduced, does, I conceive, dispense with my rigorous observation of those directions.’
“While Urinoe was speaking, I opened this letter, trembling, and found it as follows.”p. 221
Chapter VII
Containing an incident full as probable as any in Scudery’s romances.
Sydimiris, to Bellmour:
If that proof of my gratitude, which I promised to give you, fall short of your
expectations, blame not the defect of my will, but the rigour of my destiny. It was
by this [95] only way I could give you liberty; nor is it too dearly bought
by the loss of all my happiness if you receive it as you ought. Had I been allowed
to follow my own inclinations, there is no man in the world I would have preferred
to yourself. I owe this confession to the remembrance of your affection, of which
you gave me so generous an instance; and the use I expect you will make of it is to
console you under a misfortune, which is common to us both; though I haply have most
reason to complain, since I could not be just to you, without being cruel at the
same time, or confer a benefit, without loading you with a misfortune. If the
sacrifice I have made of myself for your sake gives me any claim to the continuance
of your love, I command you, by the power it gives me over you, to live, and not add
to the miseries of my condition the grief of being the cause of your death.
Remember, I will look upon your disobedience, as an act of the most cruel
ingratitude; and your compliance with this request shall ever be esteemed as the
dearest mark you can give of that passion you have borne to the unfortunate
Sydimiris.
“‘Ah! Sydimiris,’ cried I, having read this letter, ‘more cruel in your kindness than severity! After having deprived me of yourself, do you forbid me to die; and expose me by so rigorous a command to ills infinitely more hard and painful than death? Yes,’ pursued I, after a little pause. ‘Yes, Sydimiris, [96] thou shalt be obeyed; we will not die, since thou hast commanded us to live; and, notwithstanding the tortures to which thou condemnest us, we will obey this command; and give thee a glorious proof of our present submission, by enduring that life which the loss of thee has rendered truly wretched.’
“Urinoe and Toxares, somewhat reassured by the resolution I had taken, exhorted me by all the persuasions friendship could put in their mouths, to persevere in it; and, Urinoe bidding me farewell, I endeavoured to prevail upon her to procure me a sight of Sydimiris once more, or at least to bear a letter from me to her; but she refused both these requests so obstinately, telling me Sydimiris would neither consent to the one nor the other, that I was obliged to be contented with the promise she made me to represent my affliction in a true light to her mistress; and to assure her that nothing but her absolute commands could have hindered me from dying. Then, taking leave of me with much tenderness, she went out of the prison, leaving Toxares with me, who assisted me to dress, and conducted me out of that miserable place, where I had passed so many sad, and also joyful hours. At a gate to which he brought me, I found a horse waiting; and, having embraced this faithful confidant with many expressions of gratitude, I bestowed a ring of some value upon him to remember me by; and, mounting my horse, with a breaking heart, I took the first road which presented itself to my eyes, and galloped away, without knowing whither I went. I rode the whole [97] night, so totally engrossed by my despair that I did not perceive my horse was so tired, it could hardly carry me a step farther. At last the poor beast fell down under me so that I was obliged to dismount; and, looking about me, perceived I was in a forest, without seeing the least appearance of any habitation.p. 222
“The wildness* and solitude of the place flattered my despair, and while my horse was feeding upon what grass he could find, I wandered about; the morning just breaking gave me light enough to direct my steps. Chance at last conducted me to a cave, which seemed to have been the residence of some hermit, or unfortunate lover like myself. It was dug at the side of a rock; the entrance to it thick set with bushes, which hid it from view. I descended by a few steps cut rudely enough, and was convinced, it had formerly served for a habitation for some religious or melancholy person; for there were seats of turf raised on each side of it, a kind of bed composed of dried leaves and rushes, and a hole made artificially at the top, to admit the light.
“While I considered this place attentively, I all at once took up a resolution, inspired by my despair, which was, to continue there, and indulge my melancholy in a retirement so fitted for my purpose.
“Giving my horse therefore liberty to go where he pleased, and hanging up my arms upon a tree near my cave, I took possession of this solitary mansion, with a gloomy kind of satisfaction, and devoted all my hours to the contemplation of my misfortunes.
[98] “I lived in this manner, madam, for ten months, without feeling the least desire to change my habitation; and, during all that time, no mortal approached my solitude, so that I lived perfectly secure and undiscovered.”
Sir George pausing here to take breath, the old baronet said what will be found in the following chapter.