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Capítulo XXVII
Preceptos excelentes sobre la zumba recargada
Animaba a Glanville un alma incapaz de complacerse por mucho tiempo en oír ridiculizar a un sujeto conocido y, por lo tanto, hizo cuanto pudo para desvanecer la conversación. Arabela, por su parte, desaprobó también las bufonadas del tontuelo pisaverde y no desaprovechó la oportunidad de declamar contra tan maligna disposición de ánimo121.
—Un zumbón –dijo ella– o se hace temible u odioso, y aun puede añadirse que lo uno es consecuencia de lo otro122; cualquiera que contraiga esa costumbre se expone a violar las leyes de la humanidad y de la amistad. ¿No os parece –dijo volviéndose al petimetre burlón– que es cosa dura burlarse del amigo? Débese elegir este con gran cuidado, pero, una vez hecha elección, ha de tratársele con todo el posible miramiento.
—Pero a lo menos, prima mía –dijo Carlota–, permitirás que se zumbe al enemigo cuando se puede.
—Ni al amigo ni al contrario; la zumba, en mi opinión, es una necia venganza: no se debe gastar con los de cortos conocimientos, porque su ignorancia puede proceder de algún defecto de organización, ni tampoco ridiculizar a los que compensan sus defectos con muchas buenas cualidades, porque está visto que ninguno hay perfecto.
—Esto es, señora, que no se ha de zumbar a nadie.
—Juzgo, caballero, que hay poquísimos objetos que convengan a la zumba y todavía menos personas que sepan zumbar: es una suerte de talento debido solo a la naturaleza y que no alcanza a dar el arte; no hay cosa más común que el venir a caer las zumbas sobre los mismos que las dan: se puede adquirir la ciencia, formar el juicio y multiplicar las ideas para conseguir esto que se llama talento; mas para la zumba no basta una expresión viva y oportuna, porque es necesario, además, el modo, el ademán, el sonido de la voz y otras muchas cosas que la sazonan, sin lo que nada vale. Suélese confundir la sátira con la zumba, pero no son una misma cosa: aquella muerde sin consideración y pinta con el pincel de la maldad y esta es delicada, jovial, astuta y ha de herir como la rosa, cuyo agradable olor pone en olvido la punzada que se sintió al cogerla.
—Por cierto, sobrina mía –dijo el barón, hechizado de oír a Arabela–, que raciocinas como un doctor.
—Nadie imaginaría –añadió Glanville– que pudiese mi prima hablar tan bien de una cosa que jamás ha usado y se puede creer, por lo que acaba de decir, que nadie zumbaría con más finura, si se pusiese a ello. p. 183
Silven, aunque algo encrespado por la humillación que acababa de padecer, convino en que no podían darse mejores preceptos sobre la zumba, pero el petrimetre, ofendido de la tal lección, conservó rencor y aumentó sus obsequios a Carlota.
121 Pisaverde: «mozuelo presumido de galán, holgazán y sin empleo ni aplicación, que todo el día se anda paseando» (Aut).
122 La zumba que figura en el título de este capítulo es la chanza, «vaya o chasco ligero que en conversación festiva suelen darse unos a otros» (Aut), de manera que el zumbón es quien la practica o quien «frecuentemente se anda burlando o tiene el genio festivo y poco serio» (Aut).
Chapter VI
Which contains some excellent rules for raillery.
Mr. Glanville, who had too much politeness and good-nature to insist too long upon the ridicule in the character of his acquaintance, changed the discourse. And Arabella, who had observed, with some concern, the ill-judged raillery of the young beau, took occasion to decry that species of wit; and gave it, as her opinion, that it was very dangerous and unpleasing.
“For, truly,” said she, “it is almost impossible to use it without being hated or feared, and whoever gets a habit of it is in danger of wronging all the laws of friendship and humanity.”
“Certainly,” pursued she, looking at the beau, “it is extremely unjust to rally one’s friends and particular acquaintance. First, choose them well, and be as nice as you please in the choice; but when you have chosen them, by no means play upon them. It is cruel and malicious, to divert one’s self at the expense of one’s friend.”
“However, madam,” said Mr. Glanville, who was charmed to hear her talk so rationally, “you may give people leave to rally their enemies.”
“Truly,” resumed Arabella, “I cannot allow that any more than upon friends, for raillery is the poorest kind of revenge that can be taken. [144] Methinks it is mean to rally persons who have a small share of merit, since, haply, their defects were born with them, and not of their own acquiring; and it is great injustice to descant upon one slight fault in men of parts, to the prejudice of a thousand good qualities.”
“For aught I see, madam,” said the beau, “you will not allow one to rally anybody.”
“I am of opinion, sir,” said Arabella, “that there are very few proper objects for raillery; and still fewer who can rally well. The talent of raillery ought to be born with a person; no art can infuse it; and those who endeavour to rally in spite of nature will be so far from diverting others that they will become the objects of ridicule themselves.p. 250
“Many other pleasing qualities of wit may be acquired by pains and study, but raillery must be the gift of nature. It is not enough to have many lively and agreeable thoughts, but there must be such an expression as must convey their full force and meaning; the air, the aspect, the tone of the voice, and every part in general, must contribute to its perfection.
“There ought also to be a great distance between raillery and satire, so that one may never be mistaken for the other. Raillery ought indeed to surprise, and sensibly touch, those to whom it is directed; but I would not have the wounds it makes, either deep or lasting. Let those who feel it, be hurt like persons, who, gathering roses, are pricked by the thorns, and find a sweet smell to make amends.
[145] “I would have raillery raise the fancy, and quicken the imagination, the fire of its wit should only enable us to trace its original, and shine as the stars do, but not burn. Yet, after all, I cannot greatly approve of raillery, or cease to think it dangerous; and, to pursue my comparisons,” said she, with an enchanting smile, “persons who possess the true talent of raillery are like comets; they are seldom seen, and are at once admired and feared.”
“I protest, Lady Bella,” said Sir Charles, who had listened to her with many signs of admiration, “you speak like an orator.”
“One would not imagine,” interrupted Mr. Glanville, who saw Arabella in some confusion at the coarse praise her uncle gave her, “that my cousin could speak so accurately of a quality she never practices. And it is easy to judge by what she has said that nobody can rally finer than herself if she pleases.”
Mr. Selvin, though he bore her a grudge for knowing more history than he did, yet assured her that she had given the best rules imaginable for rallying well. But the beau, whom she had silenced by her reproof, was extremely angry; and supposing it would mortify her to see him pay court to her cousin, he redoubled his assiduities to Miss Glanville, who was highly delighted at seeing Arabella less taken notice of by this gay gentleman than herself.